A recent survey by a US-based insurance company found a deep-seated fear in many women.
Not what was my first thought, I have to say, but it was that they would end up in their old age as 'bag ladies'.
You know the sort of thing, living out of a cardboard box and shuffling through their days pushing an old pram full of stuff.
It's an interesting thing is fear.
Fear of doing something, finely balanced with fear of not doing something.
These fears being based on our own experience of what life sometimes does to us when we stick our neck out, but also the consideration of what might happen if we don't.
Sometimes, we take the evidence, or rather an assumption of what is evidence, and take a stab at sticking our neck out.
Sometimes it works - sometimes it doesn't, and we feel deflated and disappointed.
In business, we also have fears, often deep-seated, of what might happen if we get all radical.
And sometimes then, we step back from the 'different' and stick with what we know.
I wonder what will happen if each of us (and I include myself in with all you lot out there), take a step into the less-then-well-illuminated and be brave this week.
As I said to someone recently, what's the worst that could happen?.
No, really what's the worst?
I have a big announcement to make this next week to you all - so watch out for it!
This isn't my 'stick-your-neck-out moment', by the way, that's an already done deal.
I'll have to think of something else!
March 10, 2007 22:29 - Fallen Leaves
As those of you who follow this self-serving monologue will know, I often use my experience in nature, whilst out walking, as metaphors for the management world.
This week I noticed the end-of-winter leaves that have ended up all squashed and brown on the footpath.
You know that, especially in larger organizations, I believe that the curse of employees is the lack of involvement and personal control that individuals at the sharp end often feel.
They come to a job full of the flush of excitement, just like new leaves in the spring.
As they mature, nurtured by the parent, they take on the full strength and character of the organization as they represent it to the full.
Sadly, they lose the interest that was so carefully generated in them when they began their job, as they become just another number.
They feel as though they are withering and slowly their enthusiasm; their vision and their hopes, joy and faith in the organization, as they fall to the floor of workplace desire.
Squashed to the ground.
In leaf terms, this is the cycle of life. In organizational terms, there is no scope for cycles. Their people are their asset, which they need to continuously support, cherish and nurture.
Or business grinds to a halt and progress slows.
Rather like the leaves get ground to dust.
March 11, 2007 20:13 - All About Why
First of all, let me make a small apology.
During the week I announced the launch of my new e-book, "How To Land Your Dream Job - Crazy Ideas The Show You How To Get The Job You Love!"
Unfortunately, due to a really busy week, some of the e-mails were sent out incomplete, giving some of you a sight of the template of the e-mail software that I use to send out these newsletters. Exciting stuff eh!
This gave those of you unlucky enough to receive it a rather puzzling message, for which you have my apologies.
Rather than send you out a further e-mail explaining all this, I thought I'd just let you know at the start of this week's newsletter.
Thank you for your understanding and if you are interested in it, here is the link HowToLandYourDreamJob.com (and by the way thank you for those who pointed it out and those who sent words of encouragement - I really appreciate it!).
This weeks newsletter then!
All About Why
First, to recap a little.
One of the best ways you can enhance relationships with your employees, colleagues and in fact anyone, is to ask open questions that get them talking, acknowledging this by listening carefully and asking more, to find out what really makes them tick and gets them excited.
This makes your relationships strong as you get to know each other better and you, where you are their boss, show that you care.
We've done this bit before!
The open questions are typically, 'What', 'How', 'Where', When', 'Where' and 'Why', which all work really well - except one of them.
Now, it really depends exactly how strong a relationship you have with the other person you are in conversation with, whether and how easy it is to use the question 'Why'.
Sometimes, especially if you don't know someone that well, using 'Why?' can be quite challenging and indeed set off a whole defensive stance that hinders that relationship you have worked so hard to build.
Then again, when you have worked on the relationship so that there is trust and understanding between you both, 'Why?' can work really well, cut out some of the prevarication and wooliness that sometimes prevents the honesty and openness that makes quick progress in performance.
The key here is that if you put in a little regular relationship building, then 'Why?' becomes a remarkably effective, not to say efficient question to ask.
If you use it without putting a little effort in, you really do run the risk of alienating your employee and, at the end of the day, getting far less value out of them.
March 16, 2007 07:11 - It's A Risk - It All Is!
I'd been wanting to see 'Elizabethtown' for so long, I'd forgotten why! So, when it appeared on my cable schedule last night I was ready to go.
Now I'm a bit of a softy for movies. I love things that go well and have nice endings. 'Sleepless in Seattle' is a favorite, as are 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', 'Notting Hill', and 'Love Actually'.
'Sweet Home Alabama' goes well too. As for that famous 'build it and they will come' movie, 'Field of Dreams', I never fail to cry when his dad shows up!
As you might guess from that last one, I also love it when there's a message, like in 'Pay It Forward' (and I have a whole other philosophy about that movie, which I'll explain again sometime!
So what of 'Elizabethtown'?
Well, Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst star and make a quirky, message riddled movie that is very watchable - and a lot of fun too.
There are a few mesages in it that are worth sharing, but I think the one that stands out is from Dunst, who is the main provider of the 'self-development' type quips. I don't recall seeing her in any movie before, but she is awesome ('Hard to remember; hard to forget' - as, ironically, she self-deprecatingly says in she movie!).
"True greatness," she explains, "is having the courage to fail big and stick around."
In all we do, we need to have the space and encouragement to go for it and perhaps fail. Your employees need to ensure that they feel able to 'get things wrong'. In that way they can try things out, make mistakes, live, learn and grow.
It's the biggest act of generosity that any manager can give his or her people.
In fact, it's the greatest skill of any parent too.
I'm delighted to say that, despite the wait, 'Elizabethtown' makes it into my personal 'Top 10' movies - 2 hours well spent (and just great music too!).
March 16, 2007 14:48 - Radically Honest - YouTube Arrives!
Well, it was time. Time to embrace the new and find a little more about how technology has advanced.
Get serious, have a laugh maybe!
I've already learnt a lot this year. Some HTML; a bit about Java; e-mailing to rented lists; complicated sales processes for the new book (click right to know more!).
I've learnt all about autoresponder systems for my free mini-courses on there and how they work (or don't sometimes!). I've even learnt how to insert those funny little 'pop-overs' - so annoying and so valuable to us guys on the selling end - the pop-over only appears once a day though - made sure of that!.
And now I've found out all about how to add 'YouTube' to the blog!
Its a compelling little critter is 'YouTube', so I'm going to be careful and ensure that I only give you relevant and fun stuff to play with and think about - where I can.
The one where the glamorous raven haired girl turns into the fat slob after taking off the body suit was fun, but, I'm sorry - not relevant (though I was going to spin it to 'things aren't always as they might seem' - which could have worked!).
So I came up with 'Peter', which if you can view online video, is showing below.
Peter is Radically Honest guy, who lives a life so far outside the corporate comfort-zone, that he gets away from it all.
Corporate can be big, so when its so big that you can hide - it can be good. So Peter finds.
Click, switch up your speakers and watch - its really worth it.
Wouldn't you love to do a 'Peter'?
March 18, 2007 19:36 - Challenging Ourselves
Book update!
I'm delighted to say that sales for the new book have started - slowly of course - and the new website has now had over 1000 visitors!
...has been particularly successful in encouraging people to enjoy the mini-course, courtesy of the toolkit.
I'm especially indebted to Joan Morris, for letting me know that she managed to get a new job - in fact her 'dream job' - within a week of reading the book!
Now, I can't promise that to every reader, but you never know!
This week's newsletter has been prompted by a piece of music.
I was grumping one day about the seemingly spurious attempts advertisers make nowadays to entice us to watch their adverts.
There is a new one in the UK right now by Lloyds bank, with some virtual people taking a train journey, accompanied by wonderful music by Elena Kats-Chernin.
The end tag-line is 'Lloyds TSB - we're with you for the journey'.
If you want to see the advert and hear the music, there's a link at the end of my piece.
When I say I was grumpy about the advert, I think I was bemoaning that adverts are getting weirder and weirder all the time and starting to blur, such that you watch the thing and have no idea about what product they are going to be selling - hence why was I watching a train journey, made by virtual people, to obscure music?
Then, I started to like the music.
So, I thought about it a bit and recognised that I didn't have to watch the advert and anyway, maybe I did kinda like it anyway!
And The Relevance Of All This Is...?
The relevance to us is how we relate to people, esepcially in a first instance meeting and how that shapes our relationships with them.
Ever realized that someone had more about them than you first thought? Did you ever make a judgement on shaky and often very short glimpses of people? And then, some time down the track recognise then for who they really are - and, the value they offer to you and your team/business/organization?
It's very easy to jump to conclusions - and that can make all the more difficult to recognise opportunities that might be to our benefit.
So, maybe it's worth taking a second look, be it an advert, or the people you are only starting to get to know.
Click here. You may or may not see a really long link - if it isn't live in your page, you may have to copy and paste it into your browser. the YouTube advert video is a couple of clicks down on the right.
Enjoy!
And if your appetite is whetted by checking out that excellent music from Elena Kats-Chernin, you might want to visit the blog lower down this page (you'll see it when you look!), as I came across a really funny 'employee/boss relationship video' on YouTube this week.
Made me smile anyway!
Have a good week.
March 22, 2007 17:38 - Get Rid Of A Few Then!
According to a recent survey by the management consultancy Hudson, more than ¾ of senior managers believe that being able to 'get rid' of a percentage of their staff each year would boost performance of their organzation.
And 72% reckon that they would have a significantly lower need to lose staff if their organization's recruitment processes were tighter.
Both of these opportunities are clearly correct.
The only variance I would have to this is that the individual who, in such circumstances were 'let go', would not suffer at all.
It is not an individual's fault if they are recruited poorly - who takes accountability at the top end for that, an HR director - I think not!
And, if, poorly recruited, their line manager doesn't work their socks off not just to push hard on an individual badly suited for the role they have been recruited for (or perhaps the role that has evolved away from their strengths), but in a supportive, encouraging direction to help them find the right role, then the organization can't expect an easy way out.
Yet they do so!It's staggering how a 'restructure', with all the costs, time-wasting and fears that throws up, is so often a smokescreen for dealing with underperformers.
Better, I think, though unlikely, that senior management look at how they manage and then ensure they recruit the right people with the right attitudes, in their middle-management teams - then we would be able to see real progress (or otherwise).
Clearly then the shoe would be on their foot and maybe, just maybe they wouldn't like being that clear to the 'accountability' their role requires.
And the people who truly matter would not end up hurt because of the incompetence of those paid more, sometimes much more than they are.
March 22, 2007 17:43 - Build Rapport With Everyone You Meet To Get All The Career And Business Success You Need!
Sometimes building a successful career can be as easy as building rapport with anyone and everyone you come across.
Using easy, casual and yet focussed conversations, is a great way to step up the ladder towards a better way of life at work.
