Outside your work, Your Other Life provides the pure oxygen, without which there would be no recovery phase to your world.
Being creative, dynamic, focused, challenged, driven and more, is vital for you and your business or organisation.
And you need more.
Best of all, you can have both.
With the creative tactics you adopt in your business to make time and develop your people to do more.
You can have Your Other Life as well, giving you a rounded, complete life. You will thrive; your people will grow; your business will succeed.
It’s true. R&R makes you better in your workplace as well! So what do we mean by Your Other Life? It’s everything you love doing, outside your business life. It’s your list of wonderful things you’re passionate about. Your Other Lifeis about your list of things you love to do. And about trying to squeeze some of them into your day, your week and your year.
And about some of the things you don’t yet know…
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Top Ten Things About Your Other Life
Taking time out to rest, refresh and reinvigorate is a tough call. We all try, yet so often ‘things’; ‘stuff’, just gets into our way. A great test of the strength of Your Other Life is how well you are aligned with your truest values; how often you are experiencing them.
There’s a useful list of values in “What Color is Your Parachute” by Richard Nelson Bolles
Those who get the best from ‘Your Other Life’ work…
- Create the Time
There’s a great story about time in the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. It’s the one where he adds big rocks, then small rocks, then sand and then water, continually asking, “Is it full yet”, after each layer. The answer is, of course, if you don’t get the big rocks (= most important things for you to live in your life) in first, all the little stuff fills the spaces. Those great at getting their balanced life understand this and make this space first.
- Get Really Clear
Through knowing exactly what gives them pleasure and replenishment, these folk have goals and schedules which then leverage this.
- Behave Selfishly
Yep, it’s a tough word – explained really well in “The Portable Coach” by Thomas Leonard (hint: it’s not a bad word – selfish is an honest word). These people, who are just great at getting the life they want, demand, of themselves and others, that they incorporate some of their pleasures in their week.
- Ask for What They Want
By the same token, anything they want or need they make sure they get, by having the focus and courage to ask for it, clearly and unequivocally. This is a skill which needs practice and honesty.
Whilst the best advocates of this quality deliver on their responsibilities, they are clear that they themselves are the most important person. Tough to swallow, but very, very clear.
- Have Clear Boundaries
They don’t allow others to dictate what is right or wrong for them. They create clear understanding of what is important for them, they ‘publicise’ it and make it stick. They honestly and openly say when things aren’t right with others.
- Max Out Their Values Work
Through a clear awareness of their personal values (see above), they work their top 5 values to the limit. They have been able to judge the quality of their days by the level they deliver on their personal values.
- Know What They Love
They have a list of their favourite activities. They plan ahead to achieve some during their year. They take the time out to enjoy. Some things regularly, some less so. But, boy, do they get pleasure from them.
- Keep Well
And to be able to get the most from the time and the activities, they have grasped the importance of health and wellbeing. They look after their diet and exercise appropriately.
- Live Their Life
Above all these people get the value they desire from the one life they have. They make the most of it, step-by-step, year-by-year.
Ten Ways to be Better at ‘Your Other Life’
- Make Time
Creating the time is almost impossible – unless you do it very aggressively and determinedly. Red-circle the time in your diary. This space for you is sacrosanct.
- Understand Yourself
Get clear on why you are making these changes and how you are doing it. Help yourself focus on your own needs and wants and that you will be the only facilitator of these.
- Small Steps
If this is new to you, take baby steps, even if it’s just a half-hour a week! Enjoy!
- Tell Others
This is a challenging thing to do, but take time to let others know why you are making these changes – sometimes starting up again things you haven’t done for years. There may be tricky moments, but go there; do it.
- Have a Vision
Take the time to ‘see’ what it is you want and need from your life – where is the joy; the pleasure; the fun. Use your senses to describe it vividly.
- Plan Ahead
And then, you can map out your year ahead, week by week; month by month. There is a story of a woman who wanted to achieve over a hundred things in her life and she planned it all from around 20 – she had it covered by the time she got to 42. Wonder what she did next!
- Reflect Warmly
As you spend time with the activities you love, take time to reflect on them; write about them. Doubling the pleasure and exploring other options. Checkout a great book on this “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron. Create space for your brain!
By bringing into Your Other Life the things you love, working them into your day-to-day schedule becomes possible. Make it consistent and natural as an extension of one-off deliberate activities.
- Measure Against Values
And as you do your values work, measure your every day against them. Look in the mirror each day and ask, “Am I living out my values today”?
- Make Progress
Take a year as your benchmark and start to create those things you love in your plan. Next year, escalate further – take yourself to the next level. You are now living Your Other Life.
5 Simple Actions You Can Take Today!
- Do values work. Focus on the links above and identify the five values that you are closest to.
- Take a sheet of paper and write out a description of your ‘Perfect Day‘. Consider this and it’s components. Be wacky – this is a) fun and b) for you – no feeling guilty – just for your pleasure!
- And talking of pleasures, just start writing down everything you love doing in Your Other Life, or used to do when you were a kid. Make a big, long list.
- Write, longhand everyday for three pages. As described in Julia Cameron’s book (see above). You will gain incredible value from this work. Read page 81 first – it will encourage you in Your Other Life.
- Create time to do things that will never happen again. That amazing football game – watch it; the daughter’s school play – get yourself there; the one-off opportunity to visit a place you’ve always wanted too – go there. You never know what tomorrow might, or might not bring.
Here are the best books on this – it’s a long list, but this is but one page on this web-site devoted to your personal development; to living Your Other Life:-
“Finding True North” – Michael Henderson
“Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” – Susan Jeffers
“Transitions” – William Bridges
“The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” – Deepak Chopra
“Coach Yourself to Success” – Talane Miedaner
“Excuse Me – Your Life is Waiting” – Lynn Grabhorn